- Be a good friend – Dear parent, is it time for an overhaul? Your child may need a friend now- a friend your teen can completely trust, a friend he/she would run to for advice without the fear of being judged and a friend she is not afraid to share some rebellious thoughts and/or strange emotions with. WHY? – The goal is to support your teen and guide her/him on the path to maturity and smartness without judging them for who they are. This is an initial step to gain their trust and help them grow mentally and emotionally with your support.
- Avoid reprimanding/grounding – Reprimanding behavior from your end could create space for negativity and stubbornness, which could cause them to become more uncooperative. Sulking, arguing, lying, and rebelling will just be a few ways he/she might behave if you are always reprimanding. This is very likely to create an imbalance in your relation and in his/her emotional development as well. Consider avoiding such hard ways and instead have a little ‘one-to-one’ talk to discuss how such situations can be avoided in future.
- Motivate your teen intrinsically not extrinsically – Behaviorism teaches teens to look for external motivations to behave in a desirable way. It has been noted that rewards and punishments may override a teen’s natural inclination to do the right thing because they rely on extrinsic (external things that are used to motivate us) rather than intrinsic motivators (a motivator that is internal and usually a feeling of well-being that comes over us when we choose to do something). For this reason, try encouraging them to do what is right for the intrinsic reasons rather than external rewards. Ideally, to do well or do what is right should be an innate factor in your teen, which you, as the parent, can help them develop!
- Help them develop a character/ personality of their own – Forcing your teens to be the ‘next somebody’ can lead to a lifelong blunder. Instead, help them transform into the best version of themselves. Help them find the passions and abilities they have inside and choose a path that will compliment them!
These tactics are likely to lead them to the route to maturity. The goal of raising them this way is to gain more control over your teens and limiting risky behaviors — without seeming extremely controlling. We hope these tips will help your teens transform into well-matured adults. Looking for safe, fun and supervised extracurricular activities? Check iQuriouskids.com!
(Sources: Case studies based on B.F. Skinner’s behaviorism theory and adolescents)